Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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