I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
