My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
