Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
