That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
