Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
