The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
