He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
