You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
We are two peas in an std pod
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize