giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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