The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
