Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
As shirtless as possible
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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