I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
