Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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