$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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