How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
