yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize