I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ketchup is God's man juice
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
