The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
