i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
