I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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