For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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