Can i not drive my cunt home
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think your dad took our porno
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Randomize
