very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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