i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize