I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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