It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
