Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
