$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize