i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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