I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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