She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize