I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
time to smoke my breakfast
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
