I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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