Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
