so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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