Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
