Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize