Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
