shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
