you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize