you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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