Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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