Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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