a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
