I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
