so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
