I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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