hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
