Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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