Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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