Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
