looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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