I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize