I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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