Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
