Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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