kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
