I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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