Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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