I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
