dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
did i walk over a car last night?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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