I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
