My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
