Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
