yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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