Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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