Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
