she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
