oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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