my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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